The sun is FINALLY shining and I promise you that I am smiling.
I am a sloppy drunk. I wasn't carded last night and I was encouraged to indulge in such a rare opportunity by everyone around me. So I did. A gin and tonic here, a martini there. I always drink to such excess that I am never able to drive myself home. Yeah. I'm that girl. I slurred my words and sprained my foot. And despite my friends countless attempts to keep my phone out of my reach, it always found it's way carelessly into my hand. When I stumbled on home, my parents put a bucket next to my bed and kept my door open. They checked on me periodically throughout the night. I'm not sure why I feel the need to push myself to such limits, but I assume it must have something to do with my desire to lose control. Perhaps it is attributed, also, to my hunger to be completely uninhibited and honest. I know now that this gets me into trouble.
I don't think what people understand about me is that I am a complete and utter runt. At first glance everything seems alright, but when they look closer they don't want me anymore. I'm the kitten huddled in the corner of the "Free Kittens" box. It's okay. I understand your reservations.
Compliments are lovely, but they sure are exhausting. I am just really tired of pretending to believe them.
I have been given a possible opportunity that could easily change my life. But I can't jinx it. It seems too good to ever be true. If this chance does flourish, then perhaps everything will fall into place.
I want to be the next Karen Carpenter.
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You know when my mother got me a kitten for christmas, a new smokers worth of years ago, she got him because he was the last kitten. Unwanted because he was a runt with oversized ears.
He ended up being the best of them all, and maybe it was because he was unwanted, that when he found someone who wanted him, he found true love.
He sleeps with me every night and wakes me up to let me know he is still there.
Once huddled against a corner in a box, now huddled against my ribs which only barely resemble cardboard. Sometimes you have to bet on the runt. I think when you show them unconditional love, you will gain the greatest friend ever, and someone you look foward to waking you up in the middle of the night by agressively readjusting themselves against you.
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