let's build ourselves a fire.

So here I am. Listening to "For Once in my Life" by Tony Bennett. I feel uplifted by possibility. But at the same time I'm immobilized with it. It's a funny feeling. Damn you, Bennett, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I decided to get my hair cut.Although many people urged me not to, I knew I must because my hair was dead. Dead, I tell you! I went to a salon with friends. I told the stylist what I wanted (convoluted celebrity comparisons) and voila! Here I am. Loving the subtle change.

The boy working at the drugstore told me that I was "ridiculously pretty." I could feel myself blush and smile simultaneously.

I'm starting to think that people are interested in certain parts of me and disregard the other parts. Why can't people like all of me? Why can't people close their eyes and still think I'm wonderful?

That last statement sounds so horribly self absorbed, but...I don't regret saying it.

I want to start a country folk band.
All of my lyrics will be about how a boy gone and did me wrong.

I had a dream that a boy wrote me a poem. It was the most beautiful poem. And then he drove me to this house by the sea that was left to him. And even though he was broke, he said he would never sell it because that was the house he wanted to start a family with me in. Once I woke up to find that the poem was not in my hand, nor was my other hand embraced in another hand, I was temporarily devastated. But then I realized that perhaps I dreamed it so I could look forward to it.

Oh, this is my favorite part.
"As long as I know I have love,
I can make it."

I'll just wait here a bit longer. But only a bit.