"I'll start building the boat."

Although things have been rather rough the past few weeks, I am finally starting to see how and why things come together the way they do. And even though the end result is not always to my pleasing, I am happy to have had an experience, no matter the outcome.

I decided to start taking care of my temple. When I say temple, I mean body. I've quit soda and caffeine cold turkey. And I am no longer eating red meat. Only birds and fish. Yes, I still smoke. But I started wearing my seat belt thanks to a dear friend. I came to realize that if I go on, treating myself as though I am disposable then not only will that allow other people to want to treat me the same, but I won't live very long. I know, I know. I'm twenty years old. I've just been spending a lot of time putting shit into perspective.

My laugh makes me laugh sometimes.

I forget how confusing naps are. I never remember where I am, what time it is, what DAY it is. And I always drool. Naps and I were, at one time, realllllly close. Like, on the verge of "third base" close. But I realized that they've never really made me happy. It's funny how that happens. You trick yourself into thinking something or someone makes you happy. And yes, I am speaking in a convoluted metaphor. I no longer have the use for brief periods of sleep. They just aren't satisfying. Never were.

Breaking a dry spell is so fucking liberating.

It is also mildly liberating to spend time with people who are not reckless and careless.

I like when things happen unexpectedly. I like being caught off guard once and a while.

I have the next four days free of any responsibility and I could not be happier.