Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Inseparably combined



I've learned something today. You can either compromise or stay true.There really isn't much gray area in between. If you have to question it, you're lying to yourself.

The bedroom connected to mine is empty for the second time in seven years. But this time, furniture has been replaced, bags of clothing have been transported and there have been enthusiastic discussions about what new purpose the room will serve.

I have no prospects of leaving.

For my lunch break, I sat outside feeding parts of my cookie to the sparrows, all while absorbing as much sunshine as possible. Good thing, too. It started to snow a bit later. It's snowing now, actually. It looks like craft glitter.

Some days when I see people in love, I am disgusted and bitter. I make snide remarks under my breath, scoffing at the most innocent hand holding. But other days, I am absolutely enraptured with joy, just to see love. Sometimes I actually cry. Like today, for example.
My manager was celebrating her two year anniversary and her husband came in (unexpectedly) with chocolates and a card. They looked so happy that I couldn't help but be completely hopeful.
I fell back into love with, well, love.

Having said that, I'm totally sick of this Valentines day business. Diamonds and roses and sappy bullshit dripping everywhere. Love is all a bunch of manufactured shit. Absolute shit.

Having said that, I desperately want flowers and one of those Disney themed cards that I used to buy in boxes for my elementary classmates. And you know what? Fuck it. I want dinner, too. A real nice fucking dinner. Yeahhhhh.

Last night I sat in bed and attempted to start writing where I left off two months ago. (Mind you, I was distracted by the movie "Ice Princess") It took me two hours to write one sentence.

"The morning confronted me with great consequence."

This is all I have.

2 comments:

Natalie said...

my mom and i watched ice princess last weekend on tv.

Rich Armaly said...

I'm not trying to tell you I need someone to buy roses for..but I'm not trying to tell you that I don't need someone to buy roses for..so..ya know..lemme buy you some roses, haha. :)