Friday, February 20, 2009

the biggest flower.


I was just another face amidst a sea of plaid and flannel. I felt (and continue to feel) like a carbon copy of a cliche. I tried my best to refrain from judging people who were less refined than my co-pilot and me. I came to the conclusion that I'm jaded with things that I never wanted to be jaded by.

There was this kid standing in front of us wearing a Dandy Warhols shirt. We joked about how were were going to beat the shit out of him for being a "fag". And then we made disapproving faces at another kid for dancing like he was fucking....Charlie Brown at a Fallout Boy concert. Good times.

There was a moment. While at the piano he sang "We've seen the sunrise with new eyes" and as the words fell from him, he looked into the spotlight, wide-eyed like a child. It was then that I learned to believe that I have the power to change things. And I convinced myself that I will, without a doubt, find happiness.

Sometimes I forget how much I miss her. I followed her out, we both missed the exit. When we approached the proper exit, it split in two, she went right and I went left. It's okay, though. We're all going to the same place, anyway.

I like when people are happy. I really do. I cried at work today. I felt helpless. This happens all too often.

I bought two pairs of boots that are truly ancient relics. I got chills when I tried them on, and they happened to fit almost perfectly to the natural arches and curves of my feet. I can't help but wonder where their previous owners walked to. Maybe I'll walk there, too. I hope so.

My parents are gone for the night. It's refreshing. I think I'm going out.

No matter how hard I try...I just can't catch a break.
I need a break.

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