you know it's Big Willie style baby

For some reason I have Will Smith songs playing in my head on a loop. The worst part is, I don't even know the words, I just have snippets of songs. Actually, it's pretty great.

I must apologize for my emotionally unstable mini-rant yesterday. I feel no different, but I usually reserve such feelings/words for myself. I just have to wait for this to pass through me,
like a good ol' fashioned kidney stone. (Kidney stone=love? hmmm.)

While on my cigarette break, my surgeon came up to me. This caught me completely off guard.
I felt mildly guilty for smoking in front of him because there I was, killing myself in front of a man who worked so hard to save my life. Oh well.

On that same cigarette break a lady was startled when I moved. She thought I was a mannequin. I found this to be odd. I don't resemble a mannequin in the slightest. Since when do mannequins smoke?

Okay. It's totally official. I have to stop spending money. I haven't done any Christmas shopping at all and I continue to buy myself things. I suppose I'm a bit selfish around the holidays.

Also, I have to start wearing the things I buy. I have at least 8-9 things with tags still on them.
I'm becoming a hoarder. I have $60 shoes/boots that I bought over a month ago still in the box.
Maybe I have, like, one of those disorders that people in the great depression had. Or maybe
I'm just retarded.

I'm entering this thing to be in a Ben Lee video. All I have to do is take a picture of me holding a sign that says " I <3 ______" So...what do I love? I'm not sure I know anymore.