I blame the change in weather.
I know it's unfair of me to blame the weather, a non cognitive entity,
but what's a girl to do? I'm sure weather will understand.

Coming home when the birds are stretching their wings awake and
sprinkler systems casually erupt is becoming something I am starting to enjoy. I could do without the endless paid programming on television, though.

Part one:
Excessive snorting fits, memorial dance party, harmless flirting, drunken clumsiness, misting rain, raccoon eyes, making people laugh,Kings and Aces, being snarky, misinterpreted winking, playful glances, turning around one last time and handmade unicorns.

Part two:
Sun sans screen, midday sleep frustration, tuna sandwiches and Oreos, volleyball, friendly vulnerability, sunburned cigarettes, wanting shade, telling secrets

Part three:
Matinees, playing dress up, vintage Jean Paul Gaultier, ancient sequins, cheese pizza, free haircuts, being adopted, being thankful, late starts, touching everything, overcast skies, broken bicycle chains, confident sheerness, wind blown hair, changing in cars (again), bare feet on city pavement, off brand cereal, cold cement and finding a wrinkled and weathered copy of myself.

Part four:
Name induced smiles, new car bitterness, revisiting an old infatuation, cheating on forgotten vices, pop its and sparklers, counting pennies, taking back empties on empty, spurts of creativity, enunciating my A's as Ah's, couple triple, sketchy drugs and lessons about hooking up, night to morning conversation, dinner for breakfast, waking in the afternoon and cursing the heavens.

I feel like I'm spying on hidden parts of myself.
I am a fake and a fraud.
I'm getting really sick of carrying this with me wherever I go.

I'll be clearing my head over the next few days, in a cabin by the lake.

I want to feel fireworks again.