"No one ever said it would

be this hard.
I'm going back to the start."

Clarity is a funny thing. We crave it and beg for it.
But somehow when we actually have it
we want to return to our familiar state of blurriness
because, after all, moving on is always more difficult
than standing still.

For the first time in my entire life,
I did not apologize for anything.
It felt electric.
I feel as though I've added a
new word to my vocabulary,
or perhaps I've removed a few.

I'm the type of person who apologizes to a chair if
I happen to bump into it. And although I will still feel
awful for doing so, I will now at least acknowledge the
chairs wrong doing in the matter.
Instead of waiting to be forgiven,
I will open myself to forgive.

In the spirit of funny things,
I would be foolish to not mention the funny nature of truth.
We hold honesty and truthfulness in such high regards.
Yet, sometimes we use truth as a last resort.
Like, it's our only option after we've done something we are sorry for.
Very rarely do we fall back on truth before the road forks.
But in my very vague case, it's nice to hear. Even now.

Someone special told me recently that they think I'm on the right path.
And for the first time in my entire life,
I would have to agree.

To put it simply, we are not perfect and it's okay.
In regards to the aforementioned
clumsy, over apologetic girl,
she's going to be fine.
Trust me.