"You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." I don't recognize myself. I am the same. Exactly the same.
Maybe I'm just forgetful.
That must be it.
I made a wise choice. I can't believe I sided with the angel on my shoulder. I seem to always favor the devil's quick wit and irrational tongue. But foreseeing the implications of my unruly desire to act on my flawless ability to make emotionally self destructive decisions (take a breath) I am relieved to know that I am capable of doing what is best for me. This, of course, is a once in blue moon occurrence.
I hate that I can't afford a new car. Don't get me wrong, I love my car. But I'm pretty sure cars are not supposed to stall, let alone stall while in motion. I have a honest to God feeling that I may be killed within the next few weeks, all because of that stubborn piece of machinery. There's not much I care to do, though, to alter the outcome of my inevitable crash.
Is it wrong that I am comforted with knowing certain people will most likely spend their life alone, searching for something that will never exist to them because they have done nothing to deserve the happiness that comes with companionship? It is wrong, isn't it? I feel just awful for even thinking that, let alone publicly confessing it on the interweb. But I can't help smiling at the mere thought of a well deserved fruitless journey.
I don't understand relationships. I don't see the point.
I did another photo shoot.
Maybe I'm just forgetful.
That must be it.
I made a wise choice. I can't believe I sided with the angel on my shoulder. I seem to always favor the devil's quick wit and irrational tongue. But foreseeing the implications of my unruly desire to act on my flawless ability to make emotionally self destructive decisions (take a breath) I am relieved to know that I am capable of doing what is best for me. This, of course, is a once in blue moon occurrence.
I hate that I can't afford a new car. Don't get me wrong, I love my car. But I'm pretty sure cars are not supposed to stall, let alone stall while in motion. I have a honest to God feeling that I may be killed within the next few weeks, all because of that stubborn piece of machinery. There's not much I care to do, though, to alter the outcome of my inevitable crash.
Is it wrong that I am comforted with knowing certain people will most likely spend their life alone, searching for something that will never exist to them because they have done nothing to deserve the happiness that comes with companionship? It is wrong, isn't it? I feel just awful for even thinking that, let alone publicly confessing it on the interweb. But I can't help smiling at the mere thought of a well deserved fruitless journey.
I don't understand relationships. I don't see the point.
I did another photo shoot.
I'm on the cover of Real Detroit.
I'm just now realizing that I'm not cut out for this.
And I'm a fool to ever think I was.
I have 5 pages. 3 of the 5 pages are convoluted chunks of dialogue; unassigned, poorly worded dialogue. I want my character to become a heroine. But I don't think she's strong enough yet.
It's all a bunch of rubbish if you ask me. I hate not knowing how my story ends, but I guess that's the beauty of being young.
Do you ever have the urge to just run?
Leaping over sprinklers, escaping curious dogs, darting across busy roads and highways, over wire and wooden fences, through barren fields. This is what I want to do.
Where I end up won't matter in the end.
I'm just now realizing that I'm not cut out for this.
And I'm a fool to ever think I was.
I have 5 pages. 3 of the 5 pages are convoluted chunks of dialogue; unassigned, poorly worded dialogue. I want my character to become a heroine. But I don't think she's strong enough yet.
It's all a bunch of rubbish if you ask me. I hate not knowing how my story ends, but I guess that's the beauty of being young.
Do you ever have the urge to just run?
Leaping over sprinklers, escaping curious dogs, darting across busy roads and highways, over wire and wooden fences, through barren fields. This is what I want to do.
Where I end up won't matter in the end.
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1 comment:
It is always the people, that my limited perception tells me, are undeserving of a relationship that have them. I find strange comfort in the fact that when all is said and done we will pretty much have experienced everything possible, and that in some reality everyone has it as bad as me.
I guess it is something that you are able to make some good choices, but really will you ever know what is good until after it has come and past?
That is why I do understand relationships. Because I didn't see the point, and I didn't actively persue one. I regret it now, and can only tell you that it is nothing more then opportunity and risk.
While there is something great about living a life of no consequence, it is also somewhat empty. I think friends are good for only part of that void. I also think that they will leave you with weak ties, which may be where a relationship is different. Socially it's more of an investment then friendship.
Friendship is the lease, relationship is the morgage.
When ever I run I only run out of breath. I always know where I end up because of that, and its never good. You have much wisdom in this piece, it is extremely well crafted, and belays deeper meaning.
Oh and one more thing, if you die in a car crash, can I make your hair into a wig and keep it? Just asking... no reason...
I could go on and on forever, your writting does that to me. Somewhat of a muse, you are. Also really like the new picture. The dress is so nice and it doesn't look like a person looking for an spectacular crash.
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