"The spark is not within me"

My face is tinted with sunshine and my freckles are in full bloom.

I realized that I enjoy not wearing underwear.

I gave up on giving up.

I started writing again. New title, new story, same ol', same ol'
But writers block has since gotten the best of me.

This morning (after calling off of work for no reason) while braiding my hair into pigtails, sitting Indian style, eating chocolate cake for breakfast I realized that there must be some Curious Case of Benjamen Button shit going on. There's no way I'm 20 years old.

Having said that, I start collecting unemployment tomorrow.

I think it should be required that every physically able person should go outside and do something nature-y every single day. Fresh air changes everything, for the better of course.

I really think I need to quit smoking soon. I sound like a dreadful combination of Christian Bale (as Batman, of course) and Kathleen Turner. Sultry? Perhaps. Unhealthy? Most definitely.

I finally found the words that have been sitting so patiently in my throat
but I have no one to say them to. I hope I find someone to tell before I swallow them.

I made a wish on a deceased dandelion.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
Or something like that.


For the record, I lied. I lie quite often, actually. But in this particular instance, I lied about that "last shot" business. Oh, and I broke a promise too. You know the one where I promised to take a hint? Yeah. Scratch that. The truth is, world, I don't have anything better to do than to keep trying. And I challenge you to find a better use of my time. My pleas have transcended merely wanting this. The hunger is unbearable. I've left a breadcrumb path for you. I'll be there when you're ready to follow it. I am the destination.



Person one: Why are you begging? It's pathetic. He doesn't want you.
Person two: Keep fighting until you don't want him anymore.
Person three: In the words of the great Pat Benatar, "Love is a battlefield."

In regards to person one; I know. I disgust myself.
In regards to person two; I've got a lot of fight left in me.
In regards to person three; Truer words have never been spoken.